On Being Shy in Washington, D.C.

I can be really competitive, which isn’t really a bad thing at all. Especially because I’m in D.C., and I am surrounded by interns and students who are just as (if not more) competitive, and are equally (if not more) qualified for the opportunities that I want. Because I’m ambitious, I don’t see my occasional competitiveness as a bad thing. In fact, I need it – not just to push me ahead of the thousands of other wide-eyed interns in this city. I need to be competitive because I am shy. No, I don’t have panic attacks when I’m forced to meet new people, nor do I opt out of new projects because I’m intimidated. My shyness is of the variety that puts me in a pretty unfortunate position for someone trying to make it in D.C.: I don’t like making small talk, I don’t like forcing my ideas (or personality, or business cards) upon new people, and most of all, I don’t like constantly asking questions or pestering my supervisors for new opportunities.

That last point, about asking questions and digging for opportunities, is really a situation where I should just suck it up and get over it. To be honest, I should probably suck it up and get over all of those things that I’m uncomfortable with, including – as painful as it is – shamelessly throwing my business cards in people’s faces. 

One of the many mentors I’ve found in D.C. gave me some insight on ‘overnetworkers’ (i.e. people whose personalities are the opposite of mine), why I shouldn’t be worried about becoming one, and why I shouldn’t be afraid of them. Networking is a scale: there are people who prefer to keep to themselves and only create networks when they deem necessary; there are people who are comfortable chatting and handing out business cards in order to make connections that might be useful in the future; and there are people who will literally paper an office with their resume, business card, LinkedIn, Twitter, or quite literally anything else that might grab some attention. All three are valid, and all three types of people have a specific reason why their networking style works.

I cannot stress enough how infuriating it can be for a shy person to compete against overnetworkers. I cannot count how many times already this summer when I have had the opportunity to work on a project that I really care about, but missed the opportunity because an overnetworker dug their heels in and got it first. But having to come up against the overnetworker has proven, on occasion, to be a good thing. While I’ve lost projects to overnetworkers, I’ve also gained projects because the overnetworker has forced me to push my comfort zone – at some point, projects aren’t being assigned anymore… they’re being sucked up by one intern, unless I suck it up and intervene.

But there’s good news: being the quiet one who sometimes prefers to just sit at her desk and work silently on a small project while listening to the news eventually pays off. I know I’ll never be the intern that feels comfortable begging for projects – nor do I want to be this intern. I want to be the self-sufficient intern who works diligently and produces consistent, high-quality work. This is something I can comfortably achieve, while leaving room to push myself out of my bubble and pursue new projects. Being the quiet one shouldn’t mean that I achieve any less.

- Helena R.