"The Land of the Free because of the Brave."

 One of the major downsides interning at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is that I am constantly surrounded by personal stories of suicide. Nearly everyone in my office has loss a family member or close friend to such a tragedy. The good thing is, since one of our goals is to erase the sigma of suicide, it is never an awkward or uncomfortable situation when the discussion turns to their loss.

A major project I have been working on is helping with a partnership AFSP has made with various congressional spouses. The first meeting AFSP had with the spouses occurred just this month in one of the Senate buildings on Capitol Hill; I was on hand to help with the event.

While the meeting primarily served as a kickoff for the collaboration, Major General Mark Graham and Mrs. Carol Graham were in attendance as the keynote speakers. Maj. Gen. Graham and Mrs. Graham have three children. Unfortunately only one of their children, Melanie, is still alive. On February 19, 2004 their son, Lieutenant Jeffrey Graham, 23, died when a roadside bomb exploded as he protected his platoon in Iraq. Just months earlier on June 21, 2003 their second child, ROTC cadet Kevin Graham, 21, hanged himself from a ceiling fan in his apartment at the University of Kentucky. While the lethality of the roadside bomb that took Jeff was easier to see than the lethality of Kevin's depression, the Graham's lost both of their sons to two very different evils.

Meeting and hearing the story of the Grahams was chilling and inspiring at the same time. Upon first meeting me the Grahams gave me a giant hugged and thank me for my work. Without even knowing who I was or just exactly what I was doing they were thankful that I was working with AFSP. They treated me like I was part of their family and as though I had known them for years.

After some mingling everyone settled in for the Graham's presentation. They made it clear that they were not here to talk as advocates, military personnel, or lobbyists, but as down-to-earth, average, parents, and that is exactly how it felt. Maj. Gen. Graham spoke first, and then Mrs. Graham. The stories and glimpse into their lives that they shared was astonishing. I could not imagine how they could go on after losing both of their sons, however they made it clear that they were going on in honor of their sons. 

By the end of their speeches the room was somber and everyone in the audience, including myself, was struggling to hold back tears. One congressional spouse, who had lost a son to suicide but never publicly talked about it was especially touched. It would be nearly impossible for me to convey the message that the Graham's left me, and everyone else in the audience, with.

Normally I spend most of my days at my internship doing research, listening to hearings, and preparing for events. The Grahams were a staunch reminder of what all the work I have done truly means. I can only hope that my work for AFSP has helped in the smallest way to fight the sigma of suicide.

When the event was over the Graham's once again offered me a hug, thanked me for my help, and were more than happy to take a picture with me and Emily, the other intern in the office. It was overwhelming and powerful to be in their presence.

Maj. Gen. Graham ends every speech he gives with the same phrase and I believe it is only appropriate for me to end the story of my time meeting the Graham's with it. He always reminds 

  his audience that is it “The Land of the Free because of the Brave.”

For further information about the Graham's story you can visit the website in honor of Jeff and Kevin Graham.

Also, I will make sure post the link to their presentation once it is on AFSP's website.

- Jenn Meyer